Giant Spiders (the Spider Goat is real)

The other day I came across mention of Congolese stories of the J'ba Fofi. These creatures are supposedly giant spiders (about 5 feet across) that live in the jungles of the Congo, preying on animals and the occasional unwary human. I've always been told that such a large arachnid would be impossible, and out of curiosity I thought I'd try to understand the reasons why. In the process I came across something every bit as amazing as the J'ba Fofi: spider/goat hybrids which are living on a ranch in Wyoming.

As a fan of weird tales and unknown animals, I've seen the concept of giant spiders surface in popular culture countless times. Some of the more memorable include almost all of Tolkein's works, and of course all of the oversized 1950's sci-fi creatures. Ray Bradbury's short story “The Finnegan” is a personal favorite, as is “The Spider”, a radio drama which appeared on the show Lights Out in 1943. And last but not least there is an episode of The Twilight Zone that I personally credit for my fear of spiders to this day, an episode which was also written by Ray Bradbury (damn you, Ray!).

Reports of spiders the size of J'ba Fofi also can be found outside of Africa, from the Urban Legends of the American Bayou, and the stories that have filtered through the armed forces since the first Gulf War about Camel Spiders, with occasional emails getting passed along featuring photos of monstrous looking critters. In addition, tales of the Chupacabra, while not being described as a giant spider, often behaves as such, leaving its livestock victims drained of fluid, with two puncture wounds in their sides.

Giant Spider Reality Check: They don't get that big.

The Camel Spider photos are well-known exaggerations. In reality they top out a little over 6 inches in size, which admittedly is bigger than anything you want hiding in your boots. Their bite is extremely painful, but they don't attack humans or livestock, and thy don't jump onto your face. They're also technically not spiders, but I'm not pedantic enough to argue that point. See this article on Snopes.com for more info. 

There's a few reasons to doubt that spiders could grow to giant size in today's environment. Primarily because spiders do not have lungs in the sense that you or I do. Instead, they have either “Book Lungs” which are a series of flat sheets which collect oxygen, or tracheae which are essentially tubes that run into its body, or a combination of both. Generally speaking, the faster and more nimble a spider is, the more likely it is to have tracheae-dominant oxygen supply. The key point is that spiders, just like insects, don't have lungs to act as bellows pumping oxygen through their systems. Around 350 million years ago the Earth seems to have had a denser, more oxygen-rich atmosphere, which allowed insects' tracheal tubes to carry more O2 through their bodies without having to increase the volume of air processed. This allowed insects to grow to larger sizes and achieve flight easier, and there is evidence of insects which fall within the size range attributed to creatures like J'ba Fofi. While there is no fossil record of large spiders from that time (the one which was a possibility was later shown to be a sort of early crab), the difficulty of finding an exoskeleton fossil doesn't rule out the possibility that they existed. (And with some of the incredible fossil insects found so far, you never know what will turn up.)

An illustration from Britannica.com showing "Book Lungs"

What this means is that if a spider were of enormous size, then its physiology would have to be considerably different than spiders as we know them now. Their breathing system would have to function differently, and there may well need to be some element of skeletal support to replace/supplement their exoskelton. In order to see such changes there would have to be some major changes in the spider's DNA. But what are the chances that someone would go messing around with the spider gene pool? Well.....

Spider Goat Reality Check: Truth is stranger than fiction

In 2000, a Canadian company began breeding goats that had been modified with orb weaver spider DNA. If you're like me, this sounds unbelievable. Here's some coverage from the BBC, The New York Times,  and an informative video produced by VCU.

The rationale behind the project was based around the incredible range of potential uses for spider silk . From Lawrence Osbourne's NY Times piece:

Nexia foresees tapping into the $500 million market for fishing materials as well as the $1.6 billion market for industrial fibers in the near future. And the haute-couture world is already intrigued by a nearly weightless gossamer-like fabric. But the real gold mine might be body armor: the Pentagon is working with Nexia to develop a prototype of a new kind of vest that might be made entirely out of goat silk. The vest would be only a little thicker than nylon, but it could stop a bullet dead.

[...]

In any case, the properties of spider silk have long been recognized. Fishermen in India have always prized it for the making of their nets; American Civil War soldiers frequently used it as a surgical dressing. The problem lay always in getting sufficient quantities of it. Whereas silkworms are peaceful herbivores and can easily be farmed, spiders are aggressive territorial carnivores that need plenty of space and solitude. In farm conditions, they moodily attack and eat each other.

The solution to this problem was to find a way to create an animal that had the ease of husbandry and the silk production of spiders. Enter Prof. Randy Lewis of the University of Wyoming. He lead the team that spliced spider genes into goat embryos that were then cloned to make two kids. These goats were then bred, passing the added spider genetics down their bloodline. Nexia worked with a number of breeds, with the total number topping out around 500. There is a good summary interview with Randy Lewis here .

However, Nexia ran out of cash, and by 2005 hundreds of spider goats had been euthanized. The few dozen that remained were transported to another Canadian farm, where they were eventually picked up by Lewis, and brought back to Wyoming. They are there still, and the research continues. In January of 2011, David Pogue's “Making Stuff Stronger” program for the PBS series Nova spent some time at the facility and gives a very good explanation of the process (at the end of this episode, if you're curious).

Prof. Lewis and his team are doing good science and have really intriguing ideas. Although it's certainly startling to hear about a spider goat, it's important to keep in mind that it's only 1/70,000th spider. If you want to describe the process in a more palatable way, consider that spider silk is 100% protein, and goats' milk is filled with different proteins. These goats have just been tweaked to allow this one additional protein into their milk.

So if you've read this little article and if you still find the J'ba Fofi ridiculous, if you laugh at the unbelievable things that some people claim to have seen, then imagine siting down with a member of the Baka tribe, and explaining that in the middle of the United States, there are goats which are part spider casually living out their lives, running around on a farm munching on plants. And maybe, just maybe, those plants might also be part spider. Don't believe me on that one? Check out the University of Wyoming's patent application.

Pleasant dreams, kids.

spider goat photo from: https://sites.google.com/site/noespidergoat/3/3a

New label maker

New NinjaCamp Review

I just put up a review of Ted Lauterbach's suteF over on NinjaCamp.com. It's a short review, but I'll try to condense it as follows:

"This game is creepy. You should play it."

To read the full review, check it out here.

Early iPad and iPod nano (3rd gen) in Dune

Look, I'm just sayin'.... 

Eulogy for Jim Stout

A number of people have asked for copies of the eulogy I delivered at my Dad's funeral. I thought it would be easier to just put it up in one spot, so here it is:

My name is Dan, and I'm the youngest of Jim and Maryann's children. When my Mom asked me to speak today, I had no idea what I was going to talk about. I knew that it would be impossible to list all of the ways that Jim Stout touched the lives of those around him, and I didn't want to come up here and give some variation of “He's not gone, you just can't see him”. So I thought I'd talk about the stars, and how on summer vacations my Dad taught me to look up in dark Canadian nights, so far away from civilization that the Milky Way is lit up like million neon signs, and how you could feel the awe and respect it inspired in our ancestors. 

My Dad bought me my first telescope, and taught me how to find the constellations. He started with the easy ones first, the Dippers and Cepheus, the one that looks like a triangle sitting on top of a square. He taught me to be thorough and careful and precise. And he showed me how to navigate a row boat into the middle of a lake, and then just lay back and let it drift, so that the sky forms a bowl over your head, and the only thing you hear is the lapping of waves and loons in the distance.

So this is what I wanted to talk about, and because I'm a nerd I got on the internet. I read about stars, and I read about planets, and I read that for years there was an argument over how we could find planets that circled other stars, planets far too distant to be seen with telescopes. Some questioned if it would ever be possible. But in 1988 while a little boy and his dad slipped out onto a lake to stargaze, three astronomers on the other side of Canada looked into that same dark sky and realized that they'd done it.

Think of a planet like a rock at the end of a rope. If you spin that rope around, you'll see that your hand is also moving, pulled back and forth by the motion of the rock. In the same way a star gets tugged back and forth as its planets circle round. Just a little bit - it's just barely perceptible - but it's enough.

This trio of astronomers had collected data over decades, patiently accumulating evidence. As Jim Stout worked at the Blade, raised a family, volunteered at church, loved his wife, they looked at the stars. Jim's children grew up and had families of their own, and he watched his grandchildren grow up, and all the while these astronomers searched for subtle tugs of influence, those gentle nudges, until at last they did it. On the crown of Cepheus, that triangle sitting on a square, they found the first planet outside of our solar system even though no one could see it with their eyes.

And I thought about my family, and about how sometimes my mom smiles to herself remembering one of my dad's jokes, and how that lifts her heart for the rest of the day. I thought about all the times one of his kids or grand-kids or great-grand-kids does something right the first time, without being asked. Or when we make the right choice, even though it's more difficult, or when we treat a stranger with respect. Or when any of us whose lives have been touched by Jim just does something to be a better person, friend, parent, or spouse. That's my Dad's influence, tugging on us like a hidden planet.

I thought of all that. And I am proud to stand here and say: My Dad isn't gone, you just can't see him.

Toledo Blade Obituary article for Jim Stout

In addition to the obituary written by my family, the local paper did an independant write-up as well. The following appeared in the Toledo Blade on April 7, 2011.

The first administrative manager of health and pension funds that served thousands of Blade employees during his 31-year tenure, James E. Stout died Sunday at his home in West Toledo. He was 79.

He had vascular dementia in recent years. A hemorrhagic stroke about 10 years ago affected his spoken communication. He still told old family stories, gesturing on occasion when the right words didn't come. "He still could enjoy life a lot," his wife, Maryann, said.

He retired in September, 1998, from the Toledo Newspaper Unions-Blade Welfare and Pension Trust Funds. Each fund is overseen by union and management trustees. The funds were created in the settlement of a labor-management dispute, said Al Espen, his successor and current administrative manager.

Mr. Stout became administrative manager in March, 1967. "He shepherded [the funds] from their inception, and he was instrumental in guiding the benefit programs for the union employees of The Blade," Mr. Espen said. "He could place himself in anybody's situation and help them find the best resolution possible, given the circumstances and the availability of the solution," Mr. Espen said. "He wanted to help everyone succeed. He helped guide me toward my successes in this position."

Mr. Stout was born July 6, 1931, and grew up in West Toledo. He was a 1949 graduate of Central Catholic High School and married the next year. He often worked two jobs to help support his young family. In the early 1950s, he became a mailer at The Blade and was an officer in his union. Though hired by the health and pension trusts, in essence "he stayed at The Blade and never left," his wife said. "He loved The Blade." He learned chess in childhood, took part in chess clubs, and, by mail, played long distance with fellow devotees. For a time in the late 1960s, he wrote a chess column in The Blade.

He and his wife were self-taught gourmet cooks and for years they held dinner parties for eight. He helped with presentation and serving. "He was a great taster too," his wife said. He knew which flavors and which dishes were complementary. The couple spent weeks, sometimes months, plotting a dinner's courses. They also offered their gourmet dinners as prizes in raffles to benefit their church, St. Jude, and St. Francis de Sales High School. He learned French, and guests at French-themed meals might arrive to find the evening's menu in that language. "He was always educating himself," daughter Linda said.

Family trips to their cabin at Patton Lake near Sault Ste. Marie, Ont., were a summertime tradition, as were fishing trips he took there and on Lake Erie with friends.

Surviving are his wife, Maryann, whom he married June 21, 1950; daughters, Linda Stout-Hughson, Jeanne Nadolny, Angela Terbrack, Rebecca Kaczmarek, and Margaret Sotet; sons, James A., David, and Daniel Stout; brother, Mike Stout, and many grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Memorial services will be at 11 a.m. Friday at Corpus Christi University Parish. Arrangements are by the Blanchard-Strabler Funeral Home.

The family suggests tributes to Hospice of Northwest Ohio.

Jim Stout, 1931 - 2011

My Dad passed away this past Sunday. This is his obituary as it appeared in the local paper.

"James E. Stout, born July 6, 1931, was released into Heavenly Peace while at home surrounded by his loving family on Sunday, April 3, 2011. In 1949, Jim graduated from Central Catholic High School and married his teenage sweetheart, Maryann Dresch, a marriage which lasted 60 years and produced eight children who survive, Linda (Denny) Stout-Hughson, Jeanne (Tom) Nadolny, James A. (Deborah), Angela (Dave) Terbrack, Rebecca Kaczmarek, David (Angie), Margaret (Frank) Sotet and Daniel. Jim was "Papa" to numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren. He is also survived by a brother, Mike.

Jim was proud of his 46 year employment at the Toledo Blade, beginning as a mailer and later as an administrator of the Toledo Newspaper Unions - Blade Welfare and Pension Trust. An avid chess player, Jim wrote the chess column for the Blade for several years. Jim was an active member of St. Jude Parish. Jim and Maryann enjoyed hosting gourmet dinner parties and attending wine tasting events. His favorite place to enjoy the company of family and friends was his cabin at Patton Lake in Canada. He also loved fishing trips on Lake Erie with good friend, Doug St. John. Jim will be remembered as a true gentleman, and for his wit and gift for storytelling. Above all, Jim's life was defined as a loving husband to Maryann.

A Memorial Mass will be held at Corpus Christi University Parish on Friday, April 8, at 11:00 a.m. The family would like to thank Jim's nurse, Megan Demeter, and all the care givers of Hospice of Northwest Ohio, and Christian Homecare. Tributes can be made to Hospice of Northwest Ohio in lieu of flowers. "

New Website

Set up a new website with Square Space today. I'll try and update it a little more regularly than in the past.